CRANK

Chic boutique fitness outfit, CRANK Abu Dhabi recently opened its doors at Sheikha Fatima Park and has been putting the city’s fitties through their black-lit paces from the jump. The brand offers 45 minute programmes of intense cycle fitness, getting riders to incinerate those kcals in churning sprints and endurance climbs all in the glow of distinctly midnight rave ‘art lighting’ aesthetics specially designed for the studios. And, importantly, the soundtrack slaps. CRANK operates an innovative ride ranking system (which, if this thought fills you with dread, you are free to opt out of) — which allocates points according to your pedal power and torque settings, and then puts you on a leader board at the front of the class. In the Dubai locations, they offer Shape and Stretch classes, which don’t seem to be available in Abu Dhabi just yet — fingers crossed for the future. Pro tip: They give new riders a discounted trial session, but be careful, once you CRANK, there’s no turning back.

Sheikha Fatima Park, Rides from 8.30am to 7.30pm, pricing from Dhs60 for trial. Tel: (04) 321 2095, @crank.uae

Erth

Sure Etizan the colossal fitness complex at hotel Erth (formally known as the Armed Forces Officers Club and Hotel) does not qualify as boutique. The recreational hub is legitimately stacked with an Olympic range of sporting activities including a 3,500 sqm gym, tennis courts, multiple football pitches (including a fully FIFA-certified 11-a-side pitch), a boxing studio, martial arts space, an eight-lane-indoor-tournament-spec pool, facilities for gymnastics, aerobics, squash, bowling, track and field, volleyball, basketball, shooting and Jiu Jitsu. But something they do offer a more bijoux racket in, is everybody’s fave new court sport — padel tennis, with rental from Dhs240.

Erth, Khor Al Maqta, gym day passes from Dhs151, padel court rental from Dhs240, football pitch rental from Dhs504. Tel: (02) 497 5229, Etizan.ae 

Barry’s

Now open at The Galleria, Barry’s is on a mission to get you looking like hawt to trawt. Self-billed as the ‘The Best Workout in the World’ — there’s some muscle behind that claim. The HIIT classes that take place in their famous Red Room (sporting a low red-lit rave vibe, that makes everybody look good) can burn up to 1,000 calories in a session. Here your workout is split by intermittent switches between floor work and treadmill beasting, resulting in an all-round physical tune-up.

Barry’s, The Galleria Al Maryah Island. Tel: (02) 582 0755, @barrysuae

F45

This Aussie-born cult fitness brand has a reputation for fierce but fair workouts, with dramatic conditioning results. The classes combine a mixture of HIIT sessions, functional training (which is where the ‘F’ comes from in the name), circuit training and a cool-down period where you lock your trainer in the eyes and mouth obscenities at them. Though that last part is entirely optional. Each 45 minute class is designed to burn fat, build muscle, improve functional form, torch up to 1,000 calories, make you sweat through your eyeballs and dry wretch over a bin, at least the first time. There’s no doubt that this outfit changes lives, it physically vibrates with positivity and community, it gets results fast and comes with a three-day free trial.

Active Sports Pavillion, Al Maryah Island, Dhs120 drop in session, unlimited month pass for Dhs1,119, discounts for multi-month purchases. Tel: (056) 332 3113, @f45_training_almaryahisland

Punch

Yeah circuits are fun, but have you ever tried launching your fists into an indestructable punch bag for 50 minutes with a plasma storm light show goes off all around you. *Ding ding* Step into the gym/ring for HIIT, Classic and Ladies only sessions at Punch, and fight yourself fit. More than just a spot of fisticuffs with an inanimaye sack, these HIIT workouts obviously work on your overall fitness and focuses on you knocking that ‘UAE stone’ clean out. The Classic classes go deeper into the skills and techniques behind the gentleperson’s sport of pugilism — tightening up your footwork, jab combos, defensive postures as well as helping you develop your strength, speed and agility.

Punch Boxing Club, Zayed Sports City, Dhs100 for one class (newbies get two for one), and it’s Dhs800 for an unlimited month pass. Tel: (02) 666 9717, @punchuae